Patent Pending Blog - Patents and the History of Technology

Math Test Blues

I remember answering questions like these, but my answers weren't as funny.

Marketing 101

The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

1. You're a woman  and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."

-- That's Advertising.

3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Telemarketing.

4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Public Relations.

5 . You're at a party and see a handsome  guy.  He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

-- That's Brand Recognition.


6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy.  He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

-- That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

-- That's Tech Support.


8. You're on your way to a party when you realise that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

-- That's Junk Mail.


9. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.

-- That's the Governor of California.


10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.

-- That's America.”

What About Bob? Occupation Era Japan

What the heck happened to Bob?  You may have noticed that I haven't posted many articles lately.  I had undertaken a project that sucked all my time up, and then some.  Besides an active season of skiing with kids, starting in January I began the gargantuan task of scanning all my old slides into digital format.  Besides my slides, I scanned my wife's slides, her Dad's slides, some of my brother's slides, and some of the slides of a couple of friends.  The scanner numbered the slides sequentially, so I know that I scanned about 13,400 slides.  Thats right, 13 thousand plus! 

My wife's Dad (now deceased) was in the OSS in WWII, and ran a secret listening post built in the empty silo of  a farm in Eastern Washington, from which he communicated with Japanese American spies who were in Japan. His unit was scheduled to be dropped into Japan before the invasion, so when the invasion never happened, he was immediately shipped to Japan.  Here are some shots from his stay there.

Maybe someone can translate this and post the translation as a comment.

 

Patent Attorney Position

We have a position open for a patent attorney at our firm, preferably an electrical engineer.  This position is not for everyone, because we are offering a different mix of work environment than the usual law firm.   Frankly, a patent attorney with an EE can make more money in Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, Denver, Washington D.C., or any city in the country.  However, the more pay is offered, the more hours of work are expected, and often the less that pay will buy. 

Our position is for a 40 hours a week job, and there is a huge opportunity for growth in income in the position.   

In the 1950s, Southern California was a paradise. Not too many people, not too much crime, not too much pollution, not too much traffic, perfect weather, varied geophraphy. Boise is that now, except no beaches. A season pass at Bogus Basin ski resort, 35 minutes from town, is $235.  Tamarack Ski Resort is 1.5 hours away, and Sun Valley Ski resort is 3 hours wasy.

There are something like 15 moutain ranges in Idaho, such as the Sawtooths, Pioneers, Boulders, White Clouds, Lost Rivers, Boise, Smokeys, Boulders, and on and on.    On a holiday weekend anywhere in the mountains, you often find mountain lakes with no people at all backpacking.  For hiking and backpacking Idaho is comperable to the Sierra Nevada, but more accessible, and better than the Cascades of Washington by far.  There is world famous rock climbing at the City of Rocks.

Economically and socially, there is a symphony orchestra here, professional ballet company, plenty of concerts, and lots of jobs of all kinds. The pay is probably quite a bit less here than other places, but for $175,000 you can get a new house, for $500,000 you can buy a super nice 6 bedroom place with a view in an exclusive neighborhood in the foothills. 

Fly fishing and steelhead fishing are available in downtown Boise, and all over the state.   Idaho has the best white water river sports in the lower 48 states.  There is an extensive mountain bike trail system in the foothills around Boise.

Idaho has more hot springs than any other state not counting Yellowstone park, and within two hours of Boise are about 15 hot springs, which are pretty nice to hit after a hike or bike ride. 

So if these qualities sound good to you, drop us a letter and resume.  Here are some teaser photos of Idaho mountain scenes. 

View from part way up Mt. Borah, at 12,000 ft the highest peak in the state.

Family backpack at Sawtooth Lake, in the Sawtooth Range of Idaho.

Muslim law is Just as Crazy as Western Law

Sometimes you see court decisions that just don't make sense.  That happens in the Islamic world also.  An AP story relates the situation of a Moslem man in New Delhi who muttered three times in his sleep the word that would cause a divorce from his wife.  Under Islamic law a man only has to say the word "talaq " three times to effect a divorce.  The wife overheard the man talking in his sleep, and talked about it to the village gossip.  The village elders learned of it, and have decreed that the man must now divorce the woman.  He doesn't want to divorce her, and the couple is now being ostracized for defying the village elders.  I'd watch out if I were them, or a beheading might be next.

Meanwhile, the husband is still working as a Microsoft call center specialist.

OK, I made the last sentence up but the rest is an actual AP store, plus its a good picture.

Women Only Parking Lot

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis  City  Council has established a "Women Only!" parking lot at the Mall of America.  Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable  and safe environment is created for women patrons.

Below is the first picture available of the world's  first women-only parking lot in Minnesota. 

Don't worry. To provide equal time for this gender based topic, refer to posts on why women live longer than men, and another reason  why women live longer than men.

Steam Man, Victorian Steam Powered Robot

Any discussion of the history of technology is incomplete without a mention of the steam powered robots of Victorian times.  In the days of steam power, everything you can think of was built in a steam powered form.  That includes motorcycles, bicycles, coaches, and tricycles.   The Victorian steam powered robot Boilerplate has already been discussed in this blog, (with more information at Boilerplate by Anina Bennett and Paul Guinan), but Boilerplate was really an improvement of an earlier steam powered robot, called Steam Man, built by a teenage prodigy and dwarf named Johnny Brainerd prior to 1865, according to writer Edward S. Ellis. 

According to Brainerd,

"It was about ten feet in height, measuring to the top of the 'stove-pipe hat,' which was fashioned after the common order of felt coverings, with a broad brim, all painted a shiny black. The face was made of iron, painted a black color, with a pair of fearful eyes, and a tremendous grinning mouth. A whistle-like contrivance was made to answer for the nose. The steam chest proper and boiler, were where the chest in a human being is generally supposed to be, extending also into a large knapsack arrangement over the shoulders and back. A pair of arms, like projections, held the shafts, and the broad flat feet were covered with sharp spikes, as though he were the monarch of baseball players. The legs were quite long, and the step was natural, except when running, at which time, the bolt uprightness in the figure showed differed from a human being.

More information about Steam Man is at the page titled Steam Man.

Saddam Hussein Plays Rock Paper Scissors

Recently Saddam Hussein's trial has degenerated to the Judge, Saddam, and a member of the audience playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.  More info on this unusual turn of events on the JibJab Oddities page.

Also check out the JibJab page for more information about your next job, at the Big Box Mart.

Hamster Music

Cornell student Levi Lorenzo wanted to do a project about MIDI music technology,  so the project he came up with was to build a hamster controlled music generator.  The hamster controller uses 6 hamsters to control 3 rythmic tones.  One hamster controls the "rythmic qualities of the melodies", and the other controls the note sequence.  As the hamsters wander back and forth in their passages, the music created changes according to their position.  The music is actually not bad!

On Levi's web page, there are links to more information, sound recordings, and a video of the hamsters making music.

Our New House

We recently bought an old house, to be the new home of our office.  The house was built in 1905 for the first treasurer of the State of Idaho.  It has a huge sycamore tree, and two huge beech trees that are on the registry of historic trees in the state.  We could have some serious tree houses here if we wanted.  We have learned that the builders considered this house to be in the Western Colonial style, but I sure can't find out much information about that style of house.   It has a grand staircase, pocket doors in the main rooms, built in bookshelves in one room, wood trim all over the place, and has a nice open feel.

The photo below shows me, Steve Johnson, Stephen Nipper (of the Invent Blog) , Frank Dykas (top row), and Derek Maughan.  Steve J. is a recent addition to the firm. He is a 2005 USC Law School grad, with an undergraduate degree in Electrical Engineering.  Our house has become the center of Idaho blogging, since we were joined by Cece Gassner of Law Under the Microscope when she recently located her office in our building.  Patent Attorney Shane Kennedy has also moved in, and just a few weeks ago opened Kennedy Law Offices for patent law work.